she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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