Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
