just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
