Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
