So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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