Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
