Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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