i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
