HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize