I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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