Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize