"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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