he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize