do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
