If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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