Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
