it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
