Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
PANTIES FOUND
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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