I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
