She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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