She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
