i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube