I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑