I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.