At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis