So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
