do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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