I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
