Can Purell be used as lube?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
