I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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