Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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