My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
