There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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