I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize