in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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