so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
