I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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