one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
