I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
