its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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