she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
