Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
