Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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