im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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