I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
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Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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