Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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