Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
