Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
