I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
