I saw his package. It spoke to me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize