fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
