You can't motorboat a personality
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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