Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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