Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
