Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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