i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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