He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
