i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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