he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
