Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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