I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize