Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
