I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
