ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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