Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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