Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
