I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
