just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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