I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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