i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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